no news IS good news

so ive decided that i need to stop watching the news. it makes me paranoid. im paranoid that i will never get a real job. if i happen to get a job, ill probably lose it. also, ill never be able to get a loan nor will my children be able to go to college or me have retirement. then, i will probably get kidnapped or shot in broad daylight in the middle of birmingham or attacked by a chimpanze. that kind of stuff happens, you know?

anyway, im locking my doors, training sunny to attack, and putting pennies in my piggy bank (for sunny's college education).

good day alabama, more like dooms day alabama.

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