for your enjoyment... ok, mine.

overheard in new york:
Teacher to colleagues: When a student acts up a second time, I always throw something at the window and then do something like this (goes into fetal position and starts rocking) at my desk. I mean...these are first graders! You need them to think you're crazy from the very beginning, or you'll have a horrible year!

Man on cell: I'm feeling pretty good today. That's usually when I go off the deep end.

Paper baggin' hobo: I'm not sure who's crazier: me, or this beer. It's 23 degrees outside, and I'm drinking a cold beer!

texts from last night:
(302): I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
(1-302): You mean inside out.
(302): No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.

(973): Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.

(870): Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!

(443): There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began to hold my stomach like I was preggers.

(703): His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?

i bought some red lipstick today. i like it but its not red enough.

i went to a wedding this weekend with greg.
im just going to say two things:

1. i slipped on pine straw in the rain and fell.
(i was wearing white pants)

2. the wedding singer was missing two teeth.
(ill let you guess which ones)

dolla dolla bill, y'all.

No comments: