t.m.i. tuesday :: story time

here are a few stories i heard this weekend that i thought were worth sharing...

"who's your daddy?"

my friend wade works at the sheraton in downtown birmingham. she is a catering sales manager. if you wanted to have an event at the hotel... she is the girl that would answer your questions. she was telling me that she has had some interesting inquiries for events. wade said that she answered the phone and a lady wanted to know about having her event at the hotel. wade asked what type of event she was thinking (usually, birthdays, weddings, showers, etc). the lady responded with "a baby daddy revealing party." wade said, "ok, and how do you see this event unfolding." basically, the lady said there would be 5 guys (potential baby daddies) on stage with spot lights that could be turned on and off to reveal the daddy. long story short... this event did not take place. i wonder who the daddy was? 

"night terrors"

greg and i were having a discussion on snoring (a certain friend's husband is a snore-er). greg and i both said we had relatives that could one up this husband on the snore meter. mine is my grandmother who has to have a separate hotel room any time we travel... there is some story about me getting real upset with her when i was little while staying at a hotel. anyway, greg said, no that his uncle owen was the best snore-er. why?, i ask. uncle o screams between snores. (i wish i had video of greg doing the impression, it was awesome). greg continues to tell me that uncle o has night terrors and ran through a wall when he was in high school while asleep. also, he spent time in bolivia and the group he was with moved his cot outside while he was sleeping because of his snoring/screaming. greg won.

"i like to have fun?"

wade recently got married to robert. wade and robert frequent a gym down the road from where they live in birmingham. wade noticed that another couple was often there at the same time working out. wade also noticed that she frequently made eye contact with both parties of the other couple and mentioned it to robert. one day wade and robert were leaving the gym when the other couple approached... the woman initiated the conversation with the usual "hello, how are yall?" "fine, good, " say robert and wade. then the woman says, "do yall like to have fun?" wade said "yeah, we like to have fun. there are a lot of places to go out. we like to go out and do stuff." then the woman said, "that's good but do yall really like to have fun?" robert catching on says, "no. no we don't." and led wade out the door. hmmm...

"a bad episode of cops"

an acquaintance of mine is a cop in carrollton, ga. i ran into him (chris) at the wedding this weekend and asked if he had any fun stories from being a cop. he said that he and his new partner were chasing a bad guy and the guy got out of his car on foot and ran into the woods. he tells me that when that happens, the cops are supposed to stop where they are and send out the dog. another cop had the dog and that this a new dog that hasn't been out in the field much. the dog's handler is getting the dog all psyched up to catch the bad guy. the dog is all antsy and ready to go. chris's partner is weary of dogs and is kind of getting freaked out while the dog is getting psyched up. the partner takes a few quick steps away and the dog locks in on him. when the handler lets the dog go, the dog attacks the partner (the partner also ran). chris says the dog jumps on the partner and he freaks out screaming "get him off of me! get him off of me!" and everyone just laughs. they get the dog off and the partner wasn't hurt. just had a lot of drool on his vest. a few moments later, they hear a whistle from the woods. it was the bad guy... he surrendered because he didn't want to get attacked by the dog!